Losing someone you care about can be one of life’s most difficult experiences. There are no easy answers when trying to help a bereaved family come to terms with their loss, every situation is unique and people react in very different ways.
We believe we have an important responsibility to care for our families, not just by offering support during the funeral, but also through the difficult days that may follow.
It is so important to us that families have the funeral they feel best reflects the persons wishes, be it simple, elaborate or something unusual, we will always endeavour to help you arrange a meaningful and personal farewell.
We understand that bereavements and funerals are intensely personal events, and that’s why we make the ‘personal touch’ absolutely central to the way we do things. Because no two people or families are the same, we believe that individual choices and preferences have a crucial role to play in the lasting comfort that the right funeral can bring.
We offer a sympathetic, independent and highly professional funeral service where exactly what you want is the only thing that really matters.
Most of us will experience bereavement and loss at some time in our lives. Grief expresses itself in many different ways, sometimes with powerful, frightening and confusing emotions. It is common for these feelings to ebb and flow over a long period of time, whilst those around us may feel "you should be coming to terms with it by now." Although no two people's experience will be the same, listed below are some of the common feelings, which you may experience whilst grieving.
Advice from Bromley click on this link Bromley Deaths and Funerals
You may find yourself feeling very calm and rather detached. Conversely you may feel completely at sea. Both are perfectly normal reactions.
Being unable to accept the loss
This often involves what has been called searching behaviour. This means that at some level you are trying to deny that the death has occurred, and in so doing you might find yourself making mistakes, which can be worrying. For example, thinking that you have seen or heard the person who has died, or laying them a place at the table. You may even find yourself at odd moments of the day actually looking for them. Again, this is perfectly normal.
Anger and guilt
You may find yourself asking the question, why has this happened? And why has this happened to me? It is common to wish to find blame for it, in yourself, in others or even with the person who has died, and this can result in powerful feelings of anger and guilt (or sometimes both).
Despair and depression
There may be times when you lose interest in life and feel that there is no point going on. You may even question your own sanity. This, though painful, is a common reaction.
Usually this occurs with the passage of time and, when the pain has eased somewhat, you may find yourself being able to remember without feeling so overwhelmed. This can be a time for you to begin life again, maybe to renew old interests or take up new pursuits. This may feel disloyal to the person who has died, however what has happened in the past is always a part of you and will not be affected by your enjoying the present, or planning for the future.
How you can help yourself
As well as going through many of the reactions outlined above, you may experience many other feelings, such as panic, relief, fear, self-pity. If you do experience these emotions you may feel you ought to hide them, but they are an important and necessary part of grieving and it can be of help to share them with a sympathetic listener. You may feel hurt, isolated and convinced that friends are avoiding you. Unfortunately this does happen due to the embarrassment of not knowing what to say. It may be up to you to take the first step and let others know you need them and their support.
There is a very understandable urge to avoid painful situations. It is sometimes very tempting to feel that life would be more bearable if you moved house, disposed of possessions or refused to see people. However, this can make things worse and such decisions must be given great thought. Bereavement is often a time of very painful emotions, but all of these emotions are a very necessary part of the grieving process.
It is not uncommon, as well as feeling mentally taxed, to feel physically run down: to find it difficult to eat, sleep and so on, but eventually these feelings should fade and disappear. Bereavement can also be a very isolating process when you may feel as if no one else could possibly understand what you are going through.
If you feel worried about any of your feelings or would simply like to talk with someone, do not hesitate to approach your GP or your local Bereavement Service.
Following a bereavement, many people find comfort from talking to, or confiding in someone outside their immediate circle of family or close friends. Some are voluntary community organisations; others are run by local councils or are attached to hospitals and hospices. You may also find comfort by talking to your local Parish Minister who will be able to offer help and advice.
The purpose of the site is ultimately to provide the UK with a huge counselling support network, enabling those in distress to find a counsellor close to them and appropriate for their needs. This is a free, confidential service that will hopefully encourage those in distress to seek help. The website also contains a number of sections on emotional disorders (types of distress section) and provides some useful statistics. Every counsellor on the site who has submitted their profile has either sent a copy of their qualifications and insurance cover to us, or is registered with a professional body online with recognised codes of ethics and practice, this way we can be assured of their professionalism.
Grief Journey is the website of Dr. Bill Webster, whose advice on coping with bereavement has given support and comfort to thousands of people. Dr. Bill has written numerous books and produced tapes and videos to provide support, not only after a death but also through the many challenges of life. Dr. Bill understands the grieving process, not just in theory but also from his personal experience. The difficult times you may experience and the emotions you face are normal.
Below is other help and advice, to read the items click onto them, they will then open in a readable window.
But if what you require is not here then please call in or telephone 020 8300 3700.
24 hour helpline support every day of the year for anyone in distress including those who are feeling suicidal.
T: 08457 90 90 90
T: 0845 4647
24 hour access to health advice
Gives access to find NHS services including hospitals and local doctors and helpful information on a huge variety of health related topics.
Cruse Bereavement Care
Helpline: 0844 477 9400 Mon-Fri 0930-1700
Young Person's helpline: 0808 808 1677
Provides one-to-one and other support to the bereaved organised through local branches - find your local branch number on the website.
Information about bereavement and other issues on helpline and excellent bookshop on the website.
DEATH OF A BABY or CHILD and/or CHILDREN AFFECTED BY A DEATH
T: 01924 200799
Originally founded by people who had experienced miscarriage it continues to provide support and encourage good care by professionals.
Stillbirth and Neonatal Death Society (SANDS)
T: 020 7436 5881
Welcomes calls from anyone affected by a stillbirth or a baby, family, friends or professionals including long after the event.
Child Bereavement Charity
T: 01494 568900 for the Information & Support Team
A charity that has a dual focus of training professionals who work with families and children affected by a death which also produces excellent resources that can be used by those who are bereaved. This can include families and professionals supporting children affected by the death of an adult or anyone affected by the death of a child.
Child Death Helpline
T: 0800 282986
Mon-Fri 1000-1300, Weds only 1300-1600
Every day 1900-2200
Helpline support for anyone affected by the death of a child, irrespective of the age of the child, the relationship or the length of time since the death.
Provided by Great Ormond Street and Royal Liverpool Children's Hospitals.
Helpline: 08452 03 04 05
Gives support for those caring for children affected by the death of a parent or a sibling and to the children themselves.
T: 0845 123 2304
Every day of the year 1000-1600 and 1830-2230
Support by telephone, befriending and local groups for anyone affected by the death of a child.
Please note that this charity supports people irrespective of the age of the child at the time of death i.e. the child may have reached adulthood.
Childhood Bereavement Network
T: 020 7843 6309
Although this organisation is mainly a professional network their website has a good search facility on its front page to allow you to find support services for children in your local area.
Princess Royal Trust for Carers
T: 0844 800 4361 (London office)
Carers line: 0808 808 7777
OTHER SPECIALIST SUPPORT ORGANISATIONS
Lesbian & Gay Bereavement Project
T: 020 7403 5969 Mon/Tues/Thurs 1900-2230
Support for gay men and lesbians expecting or anticipating bereavement and also for their families and friends.
T: 0808 808 2020
Textphone: 0808 808 0121
Macmillan Youthline (for ages 12-21): 0808 808 0800
All lines Mon- Fri 0900-2100
Information and support for anyone affected by cancer whether they have been diagnosed themselves or are a family member, carer or friend.
Way Foundation (Widowed And Young)
T: 0870 011 3450
Provides a self help network across the UK to those who are bereaved through losing their partner/spouse when aged 50 or under, together with their children.
Survivors of Bereavement by Suicide
T: 0844 561 6855 Lines are open 0900-2100 every day
A self help organisation which exists to meet the needs of those bereaved by the suicide of a family member or anyone close to them.
FIND A COUNSELLOR
British Association of Counselling & Psychotherapy
Professional association and accrediting body for counsellors.
W: http://www.bacp.co.uk/ includes a 'Find a Counsellor' section
T: 0870 443 5252, Mon - Fri 0845-1700
Association of Christian Counsellors
Association and accrediting body for counsellors working from a specifically Christian perspective. Includes 'Find a Counsellor' on the link
T: 0845 124 9569 or 0845 124 9570
DEATH OF A PET
The Blue Cross
T: 0800 966606
Telephone and email support following the loss of a companion animal.
Advice is not available from a national number. This site gives information and links to local Citizens Advice Bureaux.
Directgov - public services all in one place
Official portal to UK national and local government services.
Foreign and Commonwealth Office
T: 0845 850 2829
W: http://www.fco.gov.uk/ follow links to Travelling & Living Abroad - contact us
Government number for advice for deaths overseas or contacting relatives known to be overseas about a death in the UK. See website for numbers for contact details for individual embassies.
Money Advice Service
T: 0300 500 5000
Clear unbiased information to help you manage your money better.
FirstStop Advice is an independent, free service providing advice and information for older people, their families and carers about care and housing options in later life. FirstStop also offers useful information for carers looking for support and advice.
Both of these organisations can help prevent unwanted mail to the deceased:
The Bereavement Register
If someone you know has died recently or even years ago, The Bereavement Register® can help reduce the amount of direct mail sent to their address, stopping painful daily reminders. Unless companies are informed of a death, they will continue to send promotional mailings about their products and services. By registering with our free service the names and addresses of the deceased are removed from mailing lists, stopping most direct mail within as little as six weeks
T: 0800 082 2233